Journey – Week Thirty-Two

Today’s blog is a continuation of: Journey – Week Thirty-One

None of the types of anger I have listed will help you to connect with others. In fact, they all sabotage healthy, interconnected relationships with the people that you love. Does that mean we can’t get angry?

Of course, not! Anger happens. How we deal with that anger, however, is very important. The Bible tells us in Ephesians 4:26 to be angry and do not sin. Is that really possible?…

If we use the types of anger I have listed above as opposites of healthy, godly anger, then we can define good anger as:

Honest – “I’m really angry with you right now.”

Kind – No cutting or hurtful remarks allowed.

Responsible – You recognize that no one other than you has power over your emotions; he can’t “make” you angry.

Fair – Cruel jokes (in public and private) are off limits.

Contained – We don’t “get back” at our spouses. We trust God to deal with them.

Controlled – We invite the Holy Spirit to take control of our anger.

Interactive – Healthy anger always takes place in relationship where it can be talked through and worked out.

Outward – Again, no under-cover anger is healthy. Anger turned inward either hurts others or ourselves.

Real – It is dishonest to use your anger to manipulate your husband.

It is very important for you to be able to recognize the different faces of anger both in your own life and in your husband’s. If you can’t discern what is happening during conflict, then you will never be able to resolve problems in a healthy, healing way. 

–Melissa Haas, The Journey: Book One