•I feel____________________________(feeling word)
– Instead of “I am proud of you,” say “I feel proud about_______ because______.” Specifics are more important than you may think!
– Using minimizers like “I feel a little angry” or “I felt kind of hurt.” Try to accurately label the feeling – if you have to use a less intense feeling word, do so.
– Do not talk at, preach to, or teach one another. This causes others to close off and not hear a word you say.
-Do not talk for others. Communicate your feelings and only yours. Keep the focus on yourself and how you feel.
If you stick to your feelings and truly express them, you will see how powerful this tool can be. Remember feelings are necessary for relationships.