Shame is a complicated emotion. In a very healthy way we can feel ashamed of something we have done because our behavior doesn’t match up with what we value or believe. We sense that there is a disconnect between who we are and what we do — an experience common to every human on the planet. And it is this same experience that helps us to realize how much we need a Savior to help us successfully navigate this thing called life. Without Him, we are doomed to fail at loving ourselves and loving others well.
On the other hand, shame can become an emotion infected by toxic beliefs about ourselves which results in an overwhelming sense of defectiveness and worthlessness. We feel that we are uniquely screwed up, and therefore there is no hope for change.
–Melissa Haas, Emotions 101
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