Support groups like Journey will usually be made up of safe people. All of us have experienced the pain you are going through and understand the dynamics of being married to a man who struggles with habitual sexual sin. Christian counselors and psychologists will generally be safe people with whom to process your struggles and pain. Pastors and other spiritual leaders should be safe people, but beware of those who would rather try to conform you to their legalistic ideas of marriage than to see your pain and confusion and minister to you. The last thing the wife of a sex addict needs is for some pastor to tell her to go home and have sex with her husband because her body is not her own and she needs to submit to her husband’s desires! Following that advice could be a death sentence for a woman whose husband is regularly sleeping with other people.
Most family members will probably fall into the “unsafe” category simply because they are feeling the effects of your husband’s sin as much as you are. His family might blame you for his problem or imply that something is wrong with you for their “darling” boy to be acting in such a terrible way. Your family might step in too quickly to try to relieve your pain. You need to grieve in order to heal. Well-meaning family members can actually hinder your healing process by protecting you or distracting you from painful emotions.
–Melissa Haas, The Journey: Book One
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