A brother I walked with during my time in HopeQuest’s residential program often said, “Honor the tension.” He was determined to acknowledge and work through the challenges in his own life. He repeated this idiomatic expression daily, as if it were his personal catchphrase!

I encourage you to reflect on the following ‘tensions’ as you walk through the next week:

• Stress and pressure are the opposite of rest and inner peace.
• Anxiety and discouragement are the opposite of confidence, inner strength, and fortitude.
• Arrogance and pride are the opposite of humility.
• Anger and frustration are the opposite of contentment and joy.
• Addiction is the opposite of connection.

Each of us experiences similar dilemmas every day. If we honor the tension, then we will remain in alignment with our moral compass and build a life filled with purpose and integrity.

Some of us are less susceptible to negative emotions because our pain tolerance has increased as we have learned to utilize a tool known as cognitive reframing.

What Is Cognitive Reframing?

Cognitive reframing is a psychological strategy that involves recognizing and reshaping how we perceive situations, experiences, events, thoughts, and emotions. It allows us to challenge our perspectives and transform the way we interpret and respond to life’s challenges.

No one is invincible or capable of completely avoiding negative emotions. Hardships are inevitable, and pain affects us all. However, affliction and turmoil do not have to control or define our lives.

Take the story of Lazarus — one of Jesus’ closest friends — who fell gravely ill. The pain of his sickness was overwhelmingly difficult for his sisters, Mary and Martha, to bear. While we have the benefit of knowing that Jesus would ultimately raise Lazarus from the dead, asserting His power over death, Mary and Martha had no such assurance.

What struck me — and has continued to impact my life — is the reality that when Mary and Martha sent word to Jesus for help, Scripture tells us that because of His deep love for them, He chose to remain where He was for two more days (John 11:5-6). How could waiting have been the more loving response? I can literally feel the tension Mary and Martha must have experienced in their moment of crisis.

I believe we’ve all experienced this kind of tension, longing for Jesus to show up and intervene. We need a healing touch, some form of supernatural provision, or a way out of temptation. We need our most trusted friend to be with us in our darkest hour. But what do we do when it seems like Jesus isn’t coming to the instant rescue?

Troy Haas, Chief Executive Officer of HopeQuest, often speaks about how profoundly God impacted his personal journey of recovery through the details outlined in John 11. In this passage, Jesus instructs those present at Lazarus’ resurrection to “take off the grave clothes and let him go” (John 11:44). New life is a miracle, but the grave clothes must be removed for us to truly walk free. Reframing allows us to release the past and step fully into the new life God has planned for us.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! —2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)

I believe we must actively reframe the negative situations in which we find ourselves, with the goal of increasing our ability to endure and persevere through pain. We must honor the tension. The truth is, Jesus knows every situation we face, and He knows exactly what needs to take place for the Lord to receive the most glory. It is our responsibility to remove the grave clothes and step boldly into a new and resurrected life!

Mary and Martha sent an urgent message to Jesus, but their responses were markedly different. One ran to Jesus; the other did not. One saw God’s hand at work in the midst of suffering, while the other allowed anger to impact the posture of her heart. One reframed her perspective; the other was consumed by pain.

Today, when I encounter emotional hardships, I have an innate desire to pause, remain present, and keep my heart open to God’s will. I am not a glutton for pain, nor do I enjoy moments of crises. But I ask God to help me reframe my current perceptions so that each day, my pain tolerance increases.

If Jesus is taking longer to respond to your personal situation than you had hoped, may this message serve as a reminder that He is only waiting because He loves you deeply. Let’s take a step back together, reframe the experiences and situations we are facing, and stand firm with confidence as we honor the tension. Because when we do, God will be glorified.