One good thing about despair is that is doesn’t last forever. In the moment that you are feeling the worst emotional pain you have ever experienced, you wonder if you will ever be okay again, much less happy. But sooner or later, the despair will lift, and you will begin to live again inside. Let me make a few comments about feelings of despair as it relates to your grieving process.
First, it is important that you allow yourself to feel the overwhelming sorrow in your heart. I know that feelings of hopelessness and despair are scary, but if you prevent your heart from experiencing this deepest grief, you are putting yourself at risk for both a physical and emotional meltdown. My sister, your heart will not be denied forever. It will eventually grieve those very real losses with or without your cooperation. If you will embrace the mourning, inviting God and others to grieve with you, your heart will be able to empty itself of the despair. If you refuse to allow those feelings to overtake you, your heart will over-ride your mind, and you will find yourself in an incredibly deep depression, disconnected from others and alone.
In days long gone by, grieving was a very public affair. One who had experienced a deep loss was not only accepted as she mourned, she was expected to feel sorrow and despair. Any other reaction was viewed as abnormal and offensive. In our Christian culture, however, we have somehow come to believe that grieving is “unspiritual.” We buy into this idea that if we love God and trust Him, our circumstances—even grievous ones—shouldn’t upset us. This belief is entirely unfounded and unscriptural. We learned yesterday that Jesus Himself taught we would be blessed and comforted when we mourn.
–Melissa Haas, The Journey: Book One