It’s important for you to know that you cannot speed up the grieving process. The losses you have experienced are very real, and your wounds will need time to fully heal.
Think of it in terms of an injury. Your brother has disobeyed and in the process cut you deeply. Hearing your screams, Daddy runs to you. Taking in the situation, He looks straight into the eyes of His son, His eyes filled with fire and tears at the same time.
“Son,” He says in His deep, authoritative voice. “Wait for me here until I come back. I need to take care of your sister. You have hurt her very badly.”
Turning His attention to you, Daddy cries, “Oh, my girl! You are bleeding!”
He picks you up in His strong arms and carries you to a safe place. Very gently He explains, “Honey, I have to clean this wound out, and it is really going to hurt. I’m sorry, but if I don’t clean it out your wound won’t heal, and you will get very sick. Do you trust me?”
Your child’s heart wants to trust, wants to believe that Daddy has your best interest at heart, but when the first little bit of antiseptic hits the wound, the pain cannot be denied. “Daddy!” you scream, “It hurts!”
“I know, Sweetie. I wish I could make the pain go away.” And as tears drip down His face, He carefully but firmly cleans out the wound and bandages it.
“Daddy, hold me,” you cry as the tears subside and your sobs turn to shuddered sighs.
“I’m sorry, my love. I’m so sorry.” And as He rocks you, He begins to sing over you and you fall asleep in His arms.”
–Melissa Haas, The Journey: Book One