The blame game is deadly mindset #1. We saw its birth in Genesis as Adam and Eve pointed fingers when confronted by God about their sin. They began it, and we have perfected it.
Blaming basically says, “It’s not my fault!”
Flip Wilson was a comedian back in the ‘60s and ‘70s and he developed a catchphrase that became his trademark. He would say “the devil made me do it!” While it is true that the devil tempts us and sets traps for us, he does not make us sin. He relies upon our desires to cooperate with his temptations. We always have a choice to do what is right, and we must take responsibility when we fail to obey God.
Many of us have recognized the powerful influence of past wounds and abuse on our struggles today. It is tempting to remain a victim – throwing our hands up in resignation and saying, “It’s their fault I’m this way.” We certainly are not to blame for the sins done to us, but we are the only ones who can take responsibility for the choices we are making now.
Some of us long to blame our wives for our struggles, believing that if she were more affirming or more affectionate, we would not be tempted to sin sexually. While it may be true that your wife has her own brokenness to deal with, we don’t get a free pass to sin just because our sexual desires are not being fulfilled in our marriage.
– Troy Haas, First Steps