A Message from Troy
February 2026
Dear Friend,
I used to believe that if I just loved Jesus more, then most, if not all, of my problems would be resolved. I assumed that deeper devotion would quiet my anxiety, dissolve my struggles, and free me from addiction. In my early years of following Christ, I was truly growing. My love for God was real. My desire to love others was sincere.
But what I didn’t understand was what love actually is.
I did not understand how deeply my anxiety and unresolved trauma shaped the way I related to people. I did not recognize how often I shifted into self-protection mode. And in those moments of self-protecting, I was not loving.
When I attempt — through planning, control, or avoidance — to escape painful situations that trigger anxiety, I often end up resisting the very grace of God that would enable me to love Him and others. Anxiety offers the illusion of safety yet leads me into isolation and ensures that I fall short of love. When I spend my energy trying to manage discomfort instead of surrendering it to God, I miss opportunities to love well. The more I allow anxiety to rule me, the more immature and unloving I become.
Over time, I have come to realize that love is more than an emotion or spiritual objective meant to measure success.
Recently, I asked Melissa how she defines love. She replied, “An unwavering commitment to the good of another person and connection with them.” That definition struck me.
A biblical definition echoes that same truth. Love is selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional. It is not merely a feeling, but a conscious choice to act for the well-being of others, modeled perfectly by Jesus laying down His life. Personally, I would define love as putting someone else ahead of my own desires or fears.
That last phrase — ahead of my fears — is where the real battle lies.
Here is what I am discovering: I learn to love. I grow into love. I make sacrifices and face my anxieties and fears in order to love. I fight my self-protective instincts to make room for love. Love is not automatic; instead, it is formed in the crucible of discomfort. And yet, it is one of the highest callings God places on our lives. Learning to love may be the most transformative work of spiritual formation any of us will ever undertake.
So how do we grow in this kind of love?
One practical step is this: When you feel anxious or triggered, pause before responding out of self-protection. Rather than pulling away, trying to control, or becoming defensive, take a slow, deep breath and ask, “What would love look like in this moment?” Then take one small step toward connection. Listen instead of interrupting. Confess instead of deflecting. Stay present instead of escaping. Growth in love rarely happens in dramatic moments; it happens in small, surrendered decisions.
Gratitude for Our HopeBuilders
Since February is often associated with love, I want to reflect on the people and things I hold dear.
- I love God, who loved me first and continues to meet me in ways that disarm my self-protection.
- I love Melissa, who may not have loved me first, but has loved me with a grace that has shaped who I am.
- I love my three kids—and Abigail, now five months old—who reminds me daily that love is always worth the cost.
- I love my mom and dad, both 93 years old, whose steady presence has given me more than I could ever repay.
- And yes, I love the Texas A&M Aggies, the Houston Astros, and Tex-Mex food more than I probably should.
I have learned over time that the things I cherish most are not achievements, comforts, or escapes. They are relationships. Love always moves toward connection. Always.
Of course, I love HopeQuest and the mission God has entrusted to us. When I think about the HopeQuest family, I am especially grateful for our HopeBuilders — those who give faithfully month after month. Many have partnered with us for more than 20 years. Support comes at many levels, from $10 to $1,500 and beyond. Each gift, no matter the amount, serves as a tangible reminder that we are not alone and that God continues to provide exactly what is needed for men to experience freedom and hope.
As you reflect this month, I invite you to prayerfully consider becoming a HopeBuilder. Your consistent generosity helps sustain the work we do, strengthens the men we serve, and allows hope to keep moving forward.
Grateful…
Troy Haas
Chief Executive Officer
The HopeQuest Ministry Group